Dad Memories.

I just got back into town yesterday from my dad's funeral. I know the worst is over but with Christmas right around the corner, this is so much harder then I anticipated. 

I left Tulsa with a bunch of pics of my dad and it's just a bittersweet reminder of why I love photography so much. In the end, all you have are the memories.

The last two are so meaningful to me because I've been trying to get my hands on a copy of the photo of me with my cousins for ages and now I finally have it. 

I've lost my cousin and my dad within a span of two years. 

I pray for a good Christmas, a decent one at least.

And a break from pain and loss. 

Goodbye Dad.

My Dad passed away in his sleep last night. Cancer finally did it's job.

I know that people say it's suppose to be easier when you know it's coming but it's not. It really isn't.

The pain is the same. The grief is still there. The numbness has completely just taken over. My heart is broken not just for myself but mostly for my Mom and my brother. My Mom just lost her soulmate, my brother just lost his best friend. 

There are really no words to describe how completely, for lack of a better word, fucked up this is.

My Dad should have had years left of life to enjoy. He should have been able to see my brother and I marry and start families and meet his future grandkids. It's so unfair. 

Thank you Dad for everything you did for me. You stepped up to be my Dad when you didn't have to and I always respected the hell out of you for doing that, even during the pre-teen to teenage years when we just didn't get along at all. I wish a lot of things could be redone or different. I don't know how we are going to manage without you.

Please look over Mom and Steven. Please tell Colin I miss him and love him. 

At least you guys are with each other now.